This is why I didn't go into Surgery

During medical school, I also had a poorly done, sporadically-updated blog. I was just taking a jog down memory lane and came across this gem:

"Thanks surgery rotation, thanks a lot. While I forgot most of what happened on medicine due to sleep deprivation, I think I've blocked most of the surgery rotation out of my mind to avoid painful memories. Here is what I can recall:

-Getting my glasses taped to my forehead by an anesthesiologist during a case at the anxious behest of the surgeon as he worried they were going to fall off and land in his sterile field.

-Being assessed by the chief resident during my first week: "Why do you have so many freakin' pens in your pocket? And why the fuck are you wearing your pager that way? You don't look like a surgeon, you look like a dork! And don't let me catch you wearing that stethoscope, EVER. You look like a wannabe medicine intern."

-Saying "this rotation sucks" just as one of my patients walked by.

-While another student was presenting a patient on rounds, the attending started staring off into space, and halfway through the presentation just walked away.

-Surgeon's parting words to the 3rd year resident working on a mastectomy case as he stepped out of the room for approx 15 min to check on the case next door: "Just don't fuck it up!!!"

-Same surgeon to me 30 minutes ealier: "Okay that's enough. You were not born to retract for this case."

-But this is really the best reflection of what my surgery rotation was like: the acting intern on the team was giving me "tips" for "success" like how surgeons really like it when you anticipate their needs- for instance, suction up the field before being asked, adjust whatever is in the way of their visibility, always have scissors ready before they've finished the first stitch. So the next case I was in I was given the honor of suctioning and trying to do my best to keep the field clean and stay out of trouble. The surgeon asked me, "Have you ever stayed in a hotel?"
"Wha....yeah..."
"You've stayed in a room in a hotel?"
"Yyyeah...."
"What would you say if you came into your hotel room and saw the maid?"
"Um... thank you for cleaning my room?"
"NO! HELL NO! You would say get the HELL out of my room! The maid is NOT supposed to be in the room while you're in the room! When you LEAVE the room is when the maid needs to come in and clean your room, otherwise it ruins the whole DAMNED vacation!" "

True story.

So whenever Medicine is getting bad, I have to remind myself: it could always be worse. It could be Surgery.

Wards

Back on wards.

Today, during rounds, our attending giggled, and pushed me into a large, industrial trash can.

...

BEST ROUNDS EVER!